So this topic has come up in a recent email conversation, it shows up on forum posts and I've seen it pretty much everywhere. Why is there such a double standard on bisexual people? Bi women are considered something special and sought out. Straight women sometimes openly wonder what it's like. At the same time guys go out of their way to reassure each other (and themselves) that they have absolutely no interest in other guys. I've also heard all manner of negative noise about bi guys in swinger groups, Pagan gatherings, clubs, basically everywhere. I've lived many places where there were many openly bi women but the bi guys were all in the closet. This (town, not web site) is the first place where I've felt comfortable being openly bi.
So what's the deal people? Why the double standard? Do you see it too?
Answers:
RE: bi double standard I'll give you an example. Have you been to a swinger club? How often have you seen two women dancing together? Making out? What about guys? I'll tell you a secret. There are just as many bi men as there are bi women. Many of them are politicians ranting anti-gay rhetoric until they get caught in an airport bathroom with a twink.
RE: bi double standard I only recently came out as openly bi, after meeting another openly bi guy that was very genuine. Lulu was very happy for me as she realized it was a big burden for me to bear.
Since, I'ved kissed more men(straight/bi/gay) than most women do in years.....Mostly at the club, it didn't seem to bother anyone, and it must've started a trend, as straight men(or so they claim LOL) also kissed me last time we were there..........
RE: bi double standard yeh, you gotta point, its like "forbiding!!!", its kindof like a racist thing ya know,.... i don't know , we got sooooo many double standards in this world, its really ashame.,,,, my hubby freaks out if we see or talk to a bi male or couple, so thats why its just me mostly, he just dont get it, that there are all sorts of different sexs and ways in this world, ....lol like if we have sex with someone, someones gonna come up running at him with a BIG dildo wanting to stick it up his ass,.......lol lmao lmao yeh right, hehehehehehehe keri
RE: bi double standard Honestly, I think the double standard is because we think of women as being sensitive and erotic....and men strong and bold. So when women are together its a sensual thing, and the total opposite when thinking of two men. Definitely a double standard however you look at it.
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Not true.
I've seen enough women that had nothing sensitive and erotic about them, and, men, that even when masculine, strong and bold are very erotic, sexual and sensual. Imagine Josh Holloway with Collin Farrel.
Lu swears by the kiss between Jerry and me at the club, or by watching Greg and I fuck.
Wanna see erotic/sensual, look here: http://www.facebook.com/sirmarcboydaniel they're our friends, Mark and his pup Daniel......
RE: bi double standard Josh Holloway.... Hot, but I'd hate to be stuck on an island with him.
RE: bi double standard Ok, I'll also take a young Sam Eliott - Gar in "Mask"? or Enrique Iglesias.......
Just how deserted is this island anyway?
RE: bi double standard Last I checked the population was falling rapidly. Not quite as fast as Oceanic 815, but fast.
RE: bi double standard I meant as a society as a whole. Certain populations do know different, but that is because of the generations are slowly changing and are more open. Many people still do correlate erotic and sensual to woman versus the men being strong and masculine.
Sharon
RE: bi double standard As one with no experience but an intense curiousity, would this bold masculine stereotype preclude savouring a dry savignon blanc or revelling in the bite of Canadian rye. Either has its own parameters for excellence. But individually one is not superior to the other. ( anyone for metaphors?)
RE: bi double standard WOW!!!! i feel really stupid reading that, lol , some big words, lol im just kidding, its late and i'm bored!!!!lmao lmao lmao HEY!!!!, thats a funny but cute picture ya got in your profile,....nice piggys!!!!!! lol i grew up on a farm, oh how i love it, we have horses now and a few goats ,but i sure do miss the pigs, they to me,were so fun to feed!!!!!!! keri :hello:
RE: bi double standard Which half of the couple posted this? I'm guessing the female half because I bet none of the str8 guys will post here for fear of someone thinking they might be interested in bi guys.
BTW, it is always me Trick, the male half of us posting. Becca has a job involving this sort of site and so she never does this for fun. Too much like work.
RE: bi double standard It is due to their upbringing and fear of unacceptance or just to insecure to be who they are. However I have decided around 10 years ago that if its what I enjoy, so be it. I have almost as much fun sucking a cock as I do a clit. However, almost! It's just a dick guys not a WMD. relax and enjoy a lil meat with your potatoes now and then. Signed Big tittied hubby!
RE: bi double standard Nope. I'm the masculine half. Didn't my rumbling "Sam Elliot" voice give me away? I think there is some fear involved. Several couples that we were quite chatty with have stopped responding since we changed our preferences on our profile.
Keri: thanks. They are fun. But those laughing smiley face things are making me cross eyed.
RE: bi double standard hahahahahaha , i'm sorry that bothers you guys, hahaha, really i just noticed how much i use the silly emotions cartoon thingys, it's like a habbit now!!!! i noticed that i type really fast and the letters you gotta put in for it,......well i just can keep going and going and going, like the dang entergizer bunny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keri wait i gotta put just one at the end, ....just don't look!!!!!.................. lol lol
RE: bi double standard OOPs that was two!!!! my bad!!!! i sorry!!!!! keri
RE: bi double standard Keri: its one way of keeping your fingers occupied.
RE: bi double standard I'm not bi or gay. I really do not want to see a couple of guys go at it. Not my thing. Plus I will tell you that I would be the first to leave if this started to happen around me. You say that a str8 guy won't post here do to feeling unaccepted. Not true. I am not Homophobic,I talk to everyone. I just don't feel like I need to watch them have sex. Sharon feels the same way. She is not interested in watching the men go at it either. Its just our preference.
RE: bi double standard Hey Todd, what exactly does Homophobic mean, i'm learning soooo much from yall, i've herd that before, and you did say,.....I TALK TO EVERYONE, but can you explain that a lil bit more, this is very interesting,.they do say the more you learn ,hummmmm, well i don't know what they say, lol, but if you may my dear, i'd love to here it,...i think i might be like that too!!!! very curious keri :butterfly:
RE: bi double standard No you're not, you're just hoping you'll be bound and gagged and Lulu or I or both would break in that new flogger we got from Santi Claus........
RE: bi double standard Our Santi were a red speedo LOL LOL
RE: bi double standard **perks** flogger
RE: bi double standard lol lol, yeh , hummmmm, bound maybe sweety, but oh hell noooooo, no the gagging part!!!!! hehehehehehe and yall i feel soooo stupid today,.....i'm asking all these questions, like,...duhhhh, but, here i go again.....What is a Flogger???????? lmao lmao
RE: bi double standard So that's Homophobic-----and-----Flogger!!!! k thank you very much, lol , i think i need to back away from the painpills yall!!!!! lol lol lol
RE: bi double standard It can be a very ruthless tool, or a soothing one, all depending on how it is used.
Urban Dictionary explains a flogger as ~An implement usually used in BDSM, it is made up of a handle and several straps which are attached to it. Can be used to whip or to caress.
RE: bi double standard OHHHHH! shit we just call that a damn Whip!!!!!! lol, nice, i like them , i have a lil one, one end is that, the other is a feather!!!!! cool thank you baby :bigkiss: keri
RE: bi double standard One word Hunny.....Snowball...;)
RE: bi double standard Totally agree...
RE: bi double standard A whip is something you wouldn't like to be at the business end of. 20 yrs+ ago when I was training for showjumping, I've seen some horsemen that could do wonders with a stock/bullwhip. It would easily cut flesh. Think Zorro LOL......
A riding/hunting crop is very effective if you want pain, while a flogger is soothing and caressing or equally painful if used after the crop/cane........ :)
RE: bi double standard Damn thats it i'm going to bed for tonight, cuz i don't get that either, i mean i know what a snowball is but do not know why you made that comment up there, huh, maybe its just me,......and to Alex, i don't want any pain or redness just as you said caressing thats it, lol but your so good at explaing doll, love it!!!!!!!! keri :hello:
RE: bi double standard Sorry, it was just a little inside joke for moabpair..;)
RE: bi double standard sorry too, just not doing good right at the moment, excuse me, when i seen it , thought it was directed towards me, very confused, k i got it.
RE: bi double standard Sorry Hunny! Just a little inside something to make him smile..;)
RE: bi double standard Ok Babs, did you mean to say snowball or snowballing? Let us in please!
RE: bi double standard I am not familiar with this particular use of either. But in skilled hands a whip never touches the horse. The crack above the ears is what drives them. Same with cattle. However the flogger looks more like a device of penance. Interesting....
RE: bi double standard Whipping is a technique that if done right will leave the prettiest red marks upon the flesh. I used to know a Dom who could actually put initials on a slaves hind. Was a very intense session to watch!
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Keri, a homophobic has a genuine fear of homosexuals. It is being closed-minded and not having the ability to accept their lifestyle for what it is. (maybe they are afraid of being converted or something) I think if you look back to the first outbreak of AIDS you can see how homophobia really came out mainstream as a lot society blamed the illness on Gays. I am glad that we are not as closed-minded in this generation!
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Two things then I'm off for bed. Kinda nerdy but in the Dr.Who spin off Torchwood the lead character Capt. Jack is bi sexual. And he's the hero. And I ran this past a female friend. She claims not to be bi sexual but kisses her gf just to make the guys look. Doesn't work the other way though dies it?
RE: bi double standard True. The same way they controlled the whip from touching the horses, some skilled guys I've seen would do trick shots, splitting watermelons into slices. That was impressive, and I am sure it could cut flesh, however let's hope it never happens. I was young when he died, but I remember my grandfather using a stock whip making it crack really loud for me, at the time I was 5 or 6?
Anyway, a crop if preferable to a whip when it comes to the business end..........
RE: bi double standard Thank you Sharon, wow you know so much interesting shit girl, but seriously, .....ummmmm, I'm not even gonna tell you or yall what i thought that was, ........cuz well it was the stupidest thing i've ever thought!!!!! yeh, put it that way!!! lol i'm nuts!!!! lol lol but thank you sweety, you are so good with info!!!!! :bigkiss:
RE: bi double standard I thought gay just as BI is contagious, we both caught BI after we started swinging with this cute guy that was bi.........
LOL
RE: bi double standard Actually it does. People seem to be attracted to confidence. Since I came out as openly bi, I had so far 2 guys that are straight(or so they claim) kiss me, and a few gay/bi. Not to mention the attention of a guy that both of us suspect he's on the down low....
RE: bi double standard Confidence is definitely sexy in my book.
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Understandable if it's not something you want to do. Everybody has preferences. But what part of people's collective conditioning makes it so you feel compelled to leave? Would you leave if two girls started going at it? Many if not all str8 guys feel uncomfortable enough to leave (or worse) if they see two guys getting intimate. Many women too. Have you ever wondered why that gut reaction exists? I have.
Another thing: there's str8 and I've seen str7 which means "almost straight". I prefer to think of myself as str9.
RE: bi double standard I absolutely love this comment.
RE: bi double standard Unfortunately I was immunised to the bi bug with a rural Alberta upbringing. It has taken a long time for the effects to wear off. Maybe I just have a mild case.
RE: bi double standard I think they also saw Brokeback mountain. LOL
All summer long I had a friend making fishing jokes, he's also from a small town in N Alberta
RE: bi double standard lol lol ya know i never seen that movie, but i know and herd what it was about,...thats too funny, also theres alot of jokes about it, the comedian i've been watching, love him, Gabreil Igleias, hes also mexican ,well he said he was in a plane that got struck by lighting and it dropped like 600ft all at once, lol, he said he was a "Broke Back Mexican for 30 seconds!!!!!!" Ahhhhhhh! keri
RE: bi double standard lol lol lol lmao lmao Oh it was 5 seconds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RE: bi double standard Me and my husband lay in bed at night and watch his utube videos. He is hilarious!!! LMAO
RE: bi double standard For a while I have had problems with trying to figure out new fantasies. The past week I have been thinking tons about it. I think I am going to try riding a cock and sucking one at the same time, let him cum in my mouth and cum swap with the guy I am riding. Although Bi men is not something that every interested me before, I am slowly becoming very curious. And this seems like a fun easy way to ease into it...;)
RE: bi double standard Lulu keeps trying to snowball me for a few yrs now. NO. LOL...
I know a ton of men that like cum swapping or cream pies without being bi and some bi/gay men that won't swallow or take cum in their mouths. It's a matter of personal taste.
To us tho, we like the person, not their gender, the best bi experience MMF we had was without vaginal or anal penetration, it was all erotic and sensual, a lot of kissing and making out...
If done right, anal sex can be more fulfilling than vag sex, Lulu squirts and gets G spot orgasms on anal and she can make me cum several times without touching my penis......with just two fingers.
RE: bi double standard See there is where I personally have a problem, i don't like cum in my mouth , i will gag or feel like i gotta throw up , and even near my face, but anywhere else is fine, one time he pulled out , cuz sometimes he likes to do that, even thou hes fixed, and i can't get pregnant , but anyway, he shot that sucker all the way up the side of my face , hit my eye and into my ear!!!!!!!!!! I was running to the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!! lol lol lol lol keri :donald:
RE: bi double standard I dont swollow, I dont even like it in my mouth either. I dont mind the taste..Its all in my head...I WILL get over it. As snowballing with M or F is a fantasy of mine...
RE: bi double standard You two always put a smile on my face and always make me want to know more. Keep up the great work.
RE: bi double standard Uncle Sam has an issue with me coming to the US, but:
if you ever decide to come up here or to have a great European trip, let us know......
we'll gladly meet open minded pervs.........
RE: bi double standard I'm sure if you let out the invitation you would have no shortage of volunteers.
RE: bi double standard He's got an issue with me leaving it. Sometimes I wish the old bastard would just keel already.
RE: bi double standard You would have more of a clean up duty if he'd had hit the ceiling lmao
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Just part of my job, babes! Well...volunteer job at the moment.
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Swingers can be extremely prejudist too. There are homophobic swingers. Which is funny, because they'll go down on a lady that just had sex with another men, or kiss her after she sucked their or someone else's cock. Cream pie and snowball is ok as long as they won't personally suck cock. But, they basically suck second hand cock.
It's like that fable:
In a far away land there were two tribes at war with each other. A missionary, trying to make peace asked what started this:
"they eat their lies" the chief answered
"but I notice that you also pick up lies off your heads and put them in your mouth" the missionary said
"we only squish the lies between our teeth to kill them, but then we spit them out" the chief, cheered by the tribe proudly replied.....
RE: bi double standard Sorry, I meant to say LICE not lies.......... The moral of the story is, to homophobes:
sucking cock bad, cream pie and snowball good........
RE: bi double standard Don't forget porn! Sure is lots of cock in porn!
RE: bi double standard I really like this site because you can openly discuss issues like this. We are a bi couple and just can't seem to find anyone even though we are reasonable good-looking people. Thanks for giving us some hope!
RE: bi double standard I don't get that either. Didn't watch much. Then we started thinking it could turn us on. Nope. Its silly. Those two guys dp a woman and their dicks never touch? And why do those two women going at it suddenly drop their enormous dildoes the minute a guy steps through the door? Got rid of the porn channels and have at it ourselves.
RE: bi double standard I don't like the porn channels either... I like the real home made porn, the amateur ones that truly have the ideas that the camera is NOT there for only there for money but for fun.
:coolbabe:
Sharon
RE: bi double standard Why is it I find the thought of two women making-out, petting, even going down on each other, to be "normal" and incredibly erotic; however, me kiss another man? Ugh! Come to think of it, I don't understand why a woman would prefer to kiss a guy's bearded/hairy, mug rather than another gals. My lady friend is bi-curious, so I guess she is still working out what she is capable of doing with another woman. But for me, kissing a guy full on the lips seems (dare I say it) immoral. However, I wonder, what if I was involved in a MWM 3-sum and suddenly I was getting a BJ at the same time I was making out with the "W"? What then? What if it felt really good?
RE: bi double standard Or if she's blowing you and he starts helping her...
You tell us. What then?
RE: bi double standard Ugh! So the she's giving me one hell of a BJ and all of a sudden someone begins helping her out and its a "he". Assuming he knows what's he's doing and she, with a little competition, gets inspired, I guess I'd shoot my load and claim ignorance. You can get away with a lot via a dumb looks and claims of ignorance! "What, he was doing me too?" "Impossible, I'm straight!" "I don't know how my cum got inside his mouth."
But, what if he was really good? So good, I want it that way again? Could it happen? And, if it did, now the macho man's motto (creed?) comes into play: "if someone gets you off (pleasures you), it's your duty to return the favor." Now what? I have to go down on a another guy? It ain't natural! If I did agree to give him a BJ, only if he wants to do anal? What then?
RE: bi double standard Too late! You thought about it! FAG!
RE: bi double standard But isn't that how it starts? A little notion rattling around your brain. "that guy in that porno sure had a big cock". So your beginning to look at the guys as much as the onscreen tramps. Are the cum shots bigger or spurt further than you. And soon your wondering.... Well at least that's my story.
RE: bi double standard It can certainly start that way. And there's so much fear of discovering that YOU TOO might not be 100% completely str8. So you gotta scream louder and louder inside your head "I AM STR8!" and you've got to yell it and PROVE it any way you can. And then you get busted giving a handjob in a bus terminal bathroom and your political career is over because your entire voter base is made up of closet queers who can't look themselves in the eye. What the fuck is up with that?
RE: bi double standard wonder if that's how Barney Frank got started lmao
RE: bi double standard I've thought about this double standard and really don't understand it. This lifestyle is all about exploring and simply enjoying your body and the bodies of others. It seems that since most people are somewhat bisexual that we should just relax and enjoy each other.
RE: bi double standard What? Giving handjobs in bus terminal bathrooms?
RE: bi double standard Remember though he had short arms and small hands. But that mouth!
RE: bi double standard Sounds like a T-Rex!
RE: bi double standard Lot's of us secret bi-guys out there! I can't believe all the bi-married cock I've sucked from guys I've met from other sites. It's like some huge secret society lol! Probably way more bi-guys than gals and we're all married living in vanilla worlds and can't cum out in public. Like cock sucking vampires lurking in the shadows to slurp some cock dry! LOL It is what it is I guess, personally I enjoy the secret cock sucker society, but I'm not shy about saying I do enjoy my guys! And gals so best of both!
RE: bi double standard :donald:
RE: bi double standard Funny how things change. Before we started swinging, being in the same room with a naked guy would freak me out. Now...I want to watch him in action...preferablly with my wife. :) My wife and I had no inclination towards the other sex, then one day out of the blue...my wife is getting her kitty licked by another woman while she blows her husband. I have licked Kat while she is in a reverse cowgirl...no issues. I have rubbed her clit to orgasm while she was in doggy, and yes my hand would meet his cock...again no worries. In all of our adventures....I have never seen another guy cum...only the mess he made. :) I have a fantasy about watching Kat give another guy a hand job so I can watch him cum. Does that make me bi curious or just curious?? I can't imagine giving head, but one never really knows what could happen in the heat of lust. Most important thing about all of this......please don't judge. We are sexual creatures by design...so why not explore anything that brings you pleasure.
RE: bi double standard Yes the cock sucking vampires strike again! You know once you start you can't stop, why should the gals have all the fun and the jism! I was always a "man's man", still am what I am, a cock sucker and pussy licker is all I'll ever be! And liking it! Just wish I could find the door to my closest but cumming out in the sun is bad for us secret cock sucking vampires! I'm not gay, I'm not bi, I'm not tri, a man is all I'll ever be, I just like the touch of another person and having sex with nice sexy people, we are human beings are we not, well some of us.....
RE: bi double standard We are not activly seeking a bi male since my husband has no interest in bi play (not even soft play), but we will not reject a bi male for his preference as long as he fully understands and respects our boundries. After, pegging a man gets my pussy super sloppy wet.
RE: bi double standard I agree, it's one thing to be bi- but another to be respectful. Everyone has different tastes and all need to agree on their tastes in order to have some sexy hot sensual fun! One does not like doing things they don't like and I don't like forcing it on someone. There is always some hint of bi-pay in DB penetration and such, cocks do accidently collide! Just have to be comfortable with that. No is no as far as I'm concerned! But I do agree getting pegged bi-you would be yummy!Cheers!
RE: bi double standard This topic is so stupid I don't know where to begin. Colliding cocks! After we took a pleasure break while playing with a couple, we were all in AWE when I realized I've been holding the other Mr.'s hand for almost 5 minutes. so cocks might collide during DP, and he'll catch BI from me? LOL. What about I cum in his Mr.s mouth because she likes it and he gets t kiss her before she'd get a chance to disinfect her mouth? LOL Or goes down on my Mrs. and eats a cream pie?
We dislike the label BI and use it in lack of a better term. We don't like a gender, we both like a person beyond their gender! It's just as much fun to either one of us eating pussy, sucking cock or getting pegged/fucked with a real penis, strap on or a dildo.
When you find that level of spiritual freedom, intimacy becomes a blissful experience, not just an act. It's like watching people eat. You'll know you love a person if you love to watch them eat. Or do homework with the kids in sweats.
Some straight men are such hypocrites, it doesn't go thru their thick skulls that people can sense chemistry and sexual attraction, and we're not going to make a pass, touch or kiss a person if they're prickly as a porcupine. Hell, since I've came out as openly bi, I'ved been kissed by more straight men than I wanted to, only because some wanted all their lives to kiss a guy and didn't wanna do it with their best friend. And, when the chemistry is right, some of them kiss really well too..........
RE: bi double standard X posting.
So, on another website we got this email:
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Sender: xxxxxxxx
> To: mxxxxxxx
> Date: Jan 27, 2012 10:24 AM
>
> Thanks for the flirt but sorry, I am strictlt straight male.
Once again, the DEVIL made me do it, I replied:
Don't flatter yourself, Search for "Sxxxxxxxx" on this site, this is usually whom we share intimacy with, do you really feel like you can hold a candle next to him?
LOL, hope I didn't ruined your day.
xoxox
L/A
RE: bi double standard Straight, gay, bi, tri, whatever, it's not about labels, it's about skin to skin contact as adults and people. Nothing about being masculine, shooting animals and eating raw meat and not crying!! It's about skin to skin contact with sexy people. Besides real men suck cock!
RE: bi double standard What about "gender neutral"? Not really ignoring a persons sex but sort of making in irrelevant to the situation.
RE: bi double standard this topic does need to be spoken about...being the female half of a true bi married couple its hard to find true bi people....honesty seems to be lacking in many
RE: bi double standard As a Bi-guy totally agree, lot's of so called "bi couples out there" but when it cums down to being bi, well oh, um... I'm not really Bi, I'm a real man you now!LOL
RE: bi double standard too true and too sad
RE: bi double standard Ya I also luv all the couples who post as bi-but were not really bi! LOL And all the I'm a Str8 guy but want my cocked sucked, like whats that? Or the guys that want me to suck their cock, but I'm not gay or bi so can't recip, LOL! Well boys I have a message for you,"If you want to be a member of Cock Suck Club, well the "First rule of Cock Suck Club is,you got to SUCK COCK!" LOL
