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Why We Swing

Question:

Why We Swing

First of all, let me start by saying that in another thread, I made a crass comment. It was not about any other poster. It was not about anyone else, but it was crass nonetheless. It was a very non-eloquent way of expressing a fantasy that the Mrs and I share. "Pimping her out" and then having sex with her after... in the cream pie thread no less.

Well, whether it was the crass nature of the post, the pimping her out part of the post, or the cream pie part of the post... I seem to have inadvertently offended and/or outraged several people here.

For that, let me say uncategorically that I am sorry. That was not my intention.

Mrs and I swing because it is dirty. We enjoy challenging our limits and experiencing new things. We do have a few pretty hard limits, but they're few. What we do is not for everyone, but that could be said for anyone who logs into this site.

We all have different tastes. We all have different desires. We all have turn on's and turn off's and what drives me crazy, might drive you crazy in a completely different way. THAT is awesome.

That is one of the best things about swinging... and it's one of the most awesome things about the Mr-Mrs relationship. We can tell each other things that would curl the toes of the 'ladies' at the PTA meetings (most of them anyway) We can tell each other, "I'd like to stick my (insert your body part here) into (insert anything in the world you'd like here)", and we both know that there will be no recrimination. There will be no judgment... there might be an 'ehhhh sorry not for me... and then there might be an ohhhhhh yeaaaaaa.

That's why we swing. We can express our fantasies and then let each other act them out.

You have that freedom too. Remember, we have to join sites where to pay to enter for a reason. The VAST majority of the people would never understand the thrill of watching your wife having sex with someone else. I don't blame them. This is not for them. But that's what set us apart. We don't respect other people's rules, but that's not to say that we cannot respect the people.

Remember, what excites you may not excite me. That's fine. The same could be said for the people who can't get excited with the lights turns off and the sheets over their head... but I refuse to judge even then.

So with my apology, let me also ask this... let's all celebrate the fact that we are free to live our own lives. Let's celebrate that we have a place to meet others and share some of our deepest secrets that our parents probably don't even know. Let's celebrate our individuality and our sexuality.

Here, on these boards we can be free... if something doesn't float your boat, then you have the freedom to click another page. Let us all avoid the temptation to be judgemental people many on the 'outside' world are.

Thanks.

Answers:

RE: Why We Swing
"Pimping her out" clarify that, please? I've read both threads. Not sure what you're saying? Money exchange? Shirley

RE: Why We Swing
We believe sex is one of the most beautiful natural wholesome things money can buy.
:ohmy:
Hey tater can you loan me a dollar.
:wink:

RE: Why We Swing
Her fantasy is to be sold like a "dirty little whore"... keyword being fantasy BTW, but that's not the point.

I'm saying don't be judgemental.

I'm saying we all live in glass houses and we shouldn't be throwing stones... but enjoy these awesome houses we live in.

I really don't know how many other ways to put it. I mean, of all the people in the world, I would have thought a bunch of swingers would be the most open to people living outside most other people's bounderies.

RE: Why We Swing
The only thing I really cannot understand throughout your post is why do you think swinging is "dirty"?
This lifestyle is of open choices, relationships with other people with the consent and knowledge of their partner. Where does the "dirty" part come in?
Exciting, naughty, unconventional yeah... but dirty brings on connotations of filth, and I just cannot see the correlation. Can you explain it? (daymn I think I am one of the thorns in your side)
Please don't feel obligated to explain your standpoint as we all think the way we do for a reason and it is great you have one other to bounce off of God knows me and Todd are twisted as well :angel:, I just like to understand the viewpoint of others and perhaps learn a thing or two.

Sharon

RE: Why We Swing
Dirty = naughty. That's it really. I mean, dirty as in, a place or thing that the prim and proper people would wouldn't dare even think about.

Dirty is the girl at the bar that after she's had a few drinks... there's a good chance you're going to see her tits. (Mrs) It's the girl at the bar that after a few more drinks she's going to wind up having sex with someone tonight (in addition to and with approval of Mr)

I get the feeling that sex for some people is very 'clean' as in antiseptic clean. Like, they want to check someones medical records, wear condoms, wash their hands with purell, lay plastic sheeting over the furniture...

... and don't get me wrong, that's fine for a lot of people.

But we're the type that has a few beers, maybe a shot of Jose, maybe a couple double crown & coke, grind the cigarette in the already full ashtray (even though we don't smoke anymore, it's the 'type), she'll flash her tits at the bar and it doesn't matter to her too much if a man or a woman plays with them... and she might just take em' home with us. We don't have to be friends, we don't even have to know their names.

That's dirty. To us there is no particularly negative connotation to it, as a matter of fact, we're pretty fond of 'dirty'.

And I'd just like to cut anyone off... yes... we know that picking people up at the bar is risky... you never know what they might have or what they might do... blah blah blah... but I'm just as likely to get killed working on a drilling rig, or driving down the highway to work, or riding my motor cycle, or sleeping quietly in my bed as I am picking someone up in a bar. We do use protection when playing with people we don't know, and Mrs is pretty handy with her .40sw XDM for anyone who isn't polite once we invite them in.

I am though describing the 'type', the attitude that we have towards the lifestyle.

RE: Why We Swing
Can't say We speak for anyone else but for us the lifestyle is about being open, not having to hide behind closed doors because sex is Dirty. We are very open and love to be around people that don't have to hide how they feel about sex. To each his/her own we understand that. Most of the vanilla people we know that think sex is dirty say it should be for having children not for pleasure, and thats why we do this for the pleasure ( that feel good ) that you get. Know a lot of people think Damn I'd like to fuck him/her the difference we can and do.thats why we do this. Just our opinion for what it's worth.
Dave and Mary

RE: Why We Swing
Dave /Mary - I don't think we're talking about anything different... just different language.

I mean, it's a figure of speech. Relax. It's not a negative, it's something we enjoy!!

So, just for future reference... if anyone wants to pay us a compliment, call either of us a dirty slut!! That means that we're doing something right.

Dave/Mary... God Bless you guys I have nothing but love for you guys, but please take a breath. We are happy, positive, dirty, naughty, kinky, people that are here to have fun. We have some WILD ass fantasies that from time to time, we'd like to share... here... because this should be an open minded community.

I (Mr) am the writer in the couple, I can be sarcastic, passionate, crass, funny, naughty, flirty... dirty... and frankly I would love it if I didn't feel like I had to defend every word that comes out of my finger tips. I do not know what will outrage you next. I don't know what word you'll take exception to. I don't know what fantasy will offend you.

My only hope is that no one judges you as harshly as you judge others.

RE: Why We Swing
I do think it is just a didn't type of vocabulary. We all express ourselves in various ways... but sometimes language says it all, just as someone who types with a ton of typo's...sometimes the meaning is misconstrued as being ignorant or disrespectful.

I was hoping we were on the same wave...but quite honestly only thing I love dirty besides my martini is a girl (or guy) whispering in my ear lol

Sharon

RE: Why We Swing
The last post was not judging you or any one else it was just our opinion and how we feel

RE: Why We Swing
poor Mr Endowed can't get people to understand his viewpoint. I can imagine him exasperated in front of the computer trying to word this so others understand lol So to make him feel better I HAD to post and say I GET IT!!!!! and I LOVE it!!! Totally understand your using the word dirty in a positive way not an actual dirty way...am I making sense??? It appears others are taking the meaning of the word "dirty" literally. We call it "dirty" also. Mr. 3 calls me his dirty girl, slut, whore etc in the midst of being "dirty" haha and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! We also call having sex "playing" and no I'm not getting out the barbie dolls and playing house with them either "wink"
It's just different vocabulary that works with you and your partner.

RE: Why We Swing
Mrs 3, I must say that you do sound a little dirty... and I mean that as the utmost compliment.

Would I be mistaken in assuming that Mr3 give you a 'spanking' when you're 'bad'?

And trust me, if we weren't half way across the country... it would be my pleasure to 'play' with you.

Y'all are the types of folk that Mrs and I hoped find here... THANK GOODNESS that you showed up when you did!! (Sharon seems Okay too :wink: )

RE: Why We Swing
spankings, hair pulling, tied up mmmmmm love it!!!
If ya find yourselves heading to the beach down south sometime, look us up ;) and Sharon is certainly ok!!! you'll adore her as much as the rest of us do

RE: Why We Swing
I wasn't sure what y'all meant at first, but I understand now! We don't call it 'dirty fun', it's lets have some 'FUN' wink, wink to us!
I understand your language, as Clark has a different way of speaking as well! Doesn't mean y'all are wrong by any means, k? Just a different way of putting it, just as Sharon stated!

Yes Clark & I enjoy a few beers(ok maybe more than a few) lol Woohoo, but does that make us bad 'swingers' or 'people' NOPE!

Isn't that what we all like, the different ways people word things, I do!

Shoot, we aren't judgmental people! There have been those that have judged us before!

After saying that, I WILL not have anything to do with ANYONE that has thoughts about having sex with family members! That is WRONG in my book, period!! Other than that, it's all good! xoxo Shirley

RE: Why We Swing
I too have the fantasy of being "pimped out" and plan to one day have that fulfilled. As for swinging being dirty, i don't agree. I love learning and doing new and excitingly erotic things to expand my sexual horizons and I think it is all apart of that and it therefore is a beautiful thing since sex and everything related to it is beautiful. The bottom line is enjoy yourself and each other and the experiences you have together!

RE: Why We Swing
you say tomota i say tomato,, i am not as eloquint with words. We all have our own reasons for being in the LS also our own expectations of what we get out of it. We may use different terms to describe the same things. I know I can be rude crude and socially unacceptable by some standards but I dont mean to be disrepectful i am just different. Like it has been said in this thread and many others that i have read over the years, you would think that people in the LS would be less judgemental, but we are not, we are people just like the vanilla people just have different likes and dislikes,,,,

RE: Why We Swing
I like to swing because it is something that sexually expands my ever growing horizons by giving me new experiences, thoughts, ideas, moves, etc.. As well as allowing me to do something with my husband we both enjoy!

RE: Why We Swing
We have been swinging for 12 years but started out as nudist, and found out through a nudist couple we had known and they never told us I just overheard about a social party that weekend and we asked them if we could go, and the rest is history. Its a rush for the both of us to see each other getting it on with another couples husband or wife, and we talk about it after they leave and I have learned a lot from her and she from me. In all it has made our 20 year marriage stronger than steel and we deeply love each other dearly. A couple has to try and see if its for them or if they can handle another man or women doing them. There can't be any jealousy in playing what so ever;it won't work now and never will.

RE: Why We Swing
Mr endowed, Doug here ..i would have to agree with you here, sorry everyone but Mr. is right,we all have different views and outlooks, and i thought that swinging ment that you should not be judgemental towards other, i think if you are judgemental about the terms some use then you may want to rethink why you are even here!

RE: Why We Swing
I have been sitting back for a couple of days,
frankly,
because I wasn't sure how I could put my thoughts into words without suffering the same fate as our original poster.
(Which BTW I would like to thank for choosing my group to post in.)
Firstly,
I believe this was a Fantasy.
I have heard much worse.
And I by no stretch of the imagination,
would wish to judge you for it.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
(No... I am not suggesting that anyone here is trash)
I guess the point I want so desperately to get across is that No matter What the fantasy,
One should think long and hard before living it out.
Most fantasies are much better left in the mind and rarely do the real life experiences end up as good as the fantasy.
Most of us conjure up exciting and risky images of things we think we would like,
and many of us live out those fantasies as often as we can.
But I am begging you , please,
If you intend to follow through with this understand (from someone who has been pimped out)
That unless you hand pick each client and everyone knows what is what before you start,
When men pay for sex,
They expect to receive what they want and there is no "No means No". They paid for it and they will have it.
You should be sure that you want yourself/ your spouse to be used in such a manner.
Regardless of how much love and respect you have for your partner, that does not guarantee they will have and much emotional baggage comes with selling one's ass.
Some people do it to survive and never come out of it unscathed.
Doing it as a game or for playtime,
frightens me, for you .
I have lived there and the things you do to yourself to forget,
are never nice.
It took me 25 yrs after I left that life (which I did under threat of death) to like myself again.
These days,
(In my old age)
lol
I prefer to enjoy my partners slowly and openly and erotically. I love to please and be pleased,
And I swing because it is beneficial to our relationship.
We are honest with each other and our friends and open about who we are.
We are not afraid to say we like other women or men. And above all we love each other more deeply for the honesty.
Huggs,
Karen :rose:

RE: Why We Swing
Endowed - I'm with you. And an eloquent defense you made. Let's not sanitize or rationalise to death the things that turn us on. "Dirty" works for me, and "pimpng her out" - just a term that happens to sound sexier than "sharing her with others with her express consent".

RE: Why We Swing
Pimp Sharon out as a fantasy. I would if she wanted to. But I know a lot of people that are personal friends both here and in life that she does not know that would do it in a controled and safe manner with the same effects as the intended fantasy. Our fantasies are always talked out between us before we do them so we can face the consequences that may arise openly and honestly. We have had a few bumps in the road with some of this and have always talked them out. Yy take on this. If you want to try a fantasy that may be far out there. Talk first, Do it with people you trust, Talk again afterwards to see how the experience was to make sure you are alrite, If it was exciting and was what you had intented then put in the good memory file and move on to another. But remember, If it goes bad, It will take alot of talking and understanding to may things rite. Some of the hottest sex that me and Sharon have had have been after some good fantasies come true. But talk, talk, talk it out first.

RE: Why We Swing
Swingers are ordinary people who are open minded to the concept of sharing themselves as well as their partner sexually with others. Singles who swing benefit from sharing themselves with multiple partners in a couples setting. This is the swinging lifestyle.

Many fantasies that one may have can be experienced without being in the swinging lifestyle and actually is not swinging at all. Being in a swinging community can however make it easier to come in contact with those to assist in making a fantasy a reality.

One fetish should not judge the other, tagging a swinger judgmental or as not being as open minded as one should be as a swinger is just as wrong as judging ones fantasy.

The forums here are to discuss whatever anyone may have on their mind and experience has proven that we all do not agree and thank God for that as the world would be such a boring place if we all did.

I totally understand what Mr. Endowed meant as I read his verbiage but that's me, obviously others wanted more clarification, no harm in that.

The one thing I wanted to point out is that as swingers, we all have our limits and just because we share ourselves sexually with others as swingers it doesn't make us less open minded to find the choices of others undesirable or even repulsive. But how we speak out on the choices of others can certainly make one disrespectful, rude and judgmental.

Smooches,
Gin

RE: Why We Swing
Well said Gin.

Todd.

RE: Why We Swing
WOW! To think I slept with couples and did the lady next door before I joined the lifestyle.
I just thought of it as, to each their own or having fun.
Since I joined the lifestyle, I've learned so much more. To each their own!!!!!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Endowed, Please keeping having fun.

RE: Why We Swing
Ever since you were a young teen, your parents taught you that you should find some "one" and settle down. OK...you found someone, but does that turn off your hormones? Do you suddenly stop wanting to be with everyone else in the world? For me (mr) swinging is about exploring fantasys and enjoying what other people have to offer. It's not cheating because the Mrs is there and having fun too. It's all about the fun and you have to leave the drama at home.

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