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When your relationship is suffering
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When your relationship is suffering
In my personal opinion, and from what I've seen over the years, this is the time to solidify what you have together. Concentrate on how you can please each other and meet each others needs as a couple. Trying to cure a troubled relationship with play seems to have the opposite effect, more often than not.
Your input is welcome and appreciated... |
Answers:
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Your relationship is key in order to have a successful life with the addition of adding partners. If your not on solid ground then issues of inadequacy, jealously and insecurity can creep its wicked head in.
Great topic!
Sharon |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Thank you for a well written and concise comment Sharon... and Todd too! I like to acknowledge the man half of a couple as a sign of respect, even when it's the lady who writes. That's just me. And, I will add that I have a lot of respect for a man who stays in the room with his lady during play. I've just seen too many over time, try and take advantage when the lady is distracted. To me, the mans protection is a sign of true dedication to his lady's ultimate experience. You're my kind of people. Sincerely... Jon |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Todd and I have had this discussion many times as I have had major milestones to overcome with my Ex husand being a jealous and possessive personality. I have nooo problems with watching him with a woman, but I was concerned with him watching me. His viewpoint (and I'm sure he'll post soon enough as I am putting words in his mouth... again, lol) is that he enjoys watching me because it is a very intimate moment, but perhaps more importantly... he is gaining knowledge on various methods and techniques to use against me in the future when I refuse to cum for him :ohmy:
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RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Oh yes, for me, watching a previous partner was very erotic. Watching her go after what she wanted with a passion, and enjoy another's touch with a passion. There's something very erotic in knowing that your partner truly loves and craves what she does in bed. We would love to hear from him as you say. Both perspectives, hearing from both sides, can be so enlightening. |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
We tend to agree with you here. We believe that the lifestyle should act as an enhancer not a psychologist. |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Don't let her fool you. I know which buttons to push to make her cum. Now for the rest of the story. As long as the partners talk out all aspects of their wants and wishes and agree on what is acceptable as a couple in this lifestyle all their fantasies can and will come true. Sometime we will play apart, But only with people we know and have both met. But we always ask the other if it is alrite first. That way there is no suprises later. You must have absolute trust in each other and be able to sit back and enjoy the scene without any jealousies at all. If that cannot be achieved, Then swinging may not be for you. We have no problems with single males or females as long as they get to know us first and obey our wishes as a couple. There are times when we do have sex with new people, But usually this happens at parties or clubs. Good luck and hope all your fantasies cum true. |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
Sooooo... when am I getting a new boytoy? lmao
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RE: When your relationship is suffering...
You must be secure with who you are to make a relationship work, then secure within that relationship to make it stronger through the use of play. Using play to "strengthen" a struggling or troubled marriage is no different then the couple cheating on each other because the are doing it mainly to screw someone different. |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
we know 2 couples that was in the lifestyle together for about 2 years, and the first time they did full swap theysplit up and is now each with the others partners. I dont know seems to work for them but still right. I guess it fixed what they was missing.
gary
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RE: When your relationship is suffering...
I would have to agree with you on a lot of what you are saying. There definately has to be complete trust in eachother and this is very important because when jealousy gets involved it is hard to come back from it. My relationship has been a little rocky lately so I am nervous to attempt something like this, although it is my deepest fantasy to explore our sexualities with other people and eachother... We used to have this trust in the past. How do we overcome this problem?? Somehow I feel like doing this will make us closer... although it would probably have an opposite effect. What do I do? |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
In this type of lifestyle if you are a couple you have to be truly connected ,honest ,trustworthy , patient with each other and truly soulmates , I believe , for you to be able to handle it right ,to where nothing will go wrong . And yes you have to want it both together and as fun and enjoyment . It won't fix any problems already rooted it will eventually mess yall totally up. Just my opinion . |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
I wish yall better cuz rocky not good but itll be ok just one day at a time together. |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
This is how I see it, there is some miss-trust not sure on which party(him or her). There can be no miss-trust in this lifestyle! This lifestyle is not for everyone! If y'all don't agree to step out of 'the box', & feel comfortably with it, it won't happen! Reguardless, communication between you & your partner is the key! What do y'all want sexually in your relationship? That's the question?
Trust issues can take to build up, believe me, I know!! My ex cheated on me twice. First time was when we were married 9 yrs., I forgave him. It took me almost 2 yrs. to trust him again! We talked about swinging, but never acted on it! Don't think swinging would have helped our marriage. We had other issues, which were not sexual, but that's my story. xoxo Shirley |
RE: When your relationship is suffering...
I agree with the other posters that if things are rocky now is not the time to add in another couple but if it something you both will pursue anyway then I would suggest maybe playing in the same room with another couple staying with your own partner and/or going to a house party or on premise club and being only with each other in a room of others having sex. See how that goes before taking the next step. You must be clear about what is acceptable for each of you and what is not.
If you picture the lifestyle as a staircase with full swap at the top and one of you is on stair 4 and the other is on stair 7 you need to play at stair 4 and not pressure the other person to be on stair 7 with you. They may only ever get to stair 5 or 6 and you need to be ok with that before wading in or problems and hurt feelings are bound to smack one or both of you in the face and heart. |
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