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Swinging versus BDSM??
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Swinging versus BDSM??
Hello to all
Ted and I have always been very curious about the BDSM lifestyle. We found a couple forums to join and are going to a couple meet and greets this month. We were wondering if swinging can interplay with the BDSM lifestyle? Or do you think the two lifestyles should, could, would never cross? We really want to enjoy both lifestyles, but swinging more. We don't want to give up either, but do you think they are compatible lifestyles? Any comments?
Hugs and kisses
Ted and Jen |
Answers:
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
They can cross, but it all depends on how interested you are in BDSM. For instance... I've gone to a swing party, lifted up my skirt and had some of the party goer's use a paddle to spank me (explaining to them how to do it...etc). Now if I am looking for a Dominant or a submissive to interact with most likely they would not be there; or just not playing the role that night.
Personally, I keep both lifestyles separate as I want to swing for fun and games. My Sado-Machinist self can take a challenge from a non experienced player while at a swing party but inexperience can lead to accidents and injuries.
If you are just learning about BDSM one great book with a plethora of info is Screw the Roses Send me the Thorns. I loaned mine out and its MIA otherwise I'd send it too ya.
Sharon |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Thanks cute lil gurl for the great info. We will have to look for that book.
Hugs and kisses
Ted & Jen |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Hey sharon, can you explain to me what exactly BDSM means compared to bondage or are they the same????????? keri lol lol lol |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I agree with Sharon, I think they can cross but probably not at the same event. We have swinger friends that attend BDSM clubs regularly with a set of like minded swinger friends. |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Many of your lifestyle clubs has a dominatrix on hand and a room to go with it. Some of them just brings them in everyonce in a while. So I would keep a close look at the club events in your area. New orleans has a great one and she will even teach you safe ways. Maybe you can get enough info and try to offer it to a local club there as well you never know.
gary |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
BDSM is Bondage along with Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. The abbreviation is basically a catch-all phrase meaning your into restraining, pain or inflicting pain as well other traits within the lifestyle. |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I am always leary when dealing with Dominatrix or Doms within a club scene as you never know if they truly are into the lifestyle and know what they are doing or if its all for presentation and fun. Just like a stripper is paid, some Doms/Dominatrixes are paid too! (and both put on a pretty daymn good show) |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
thanks so much cutie pie!!!! i got it now lol!!!!!!!!! |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I comletely understand what you are saying Sharon :biggrin: this was a very respectiful club and we had long talks with her she was not there for the money it was her lifestyle. A respected club can always find someone that is for real.
gary |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
This is interesting have you ever taught anyone about this BDSM??SugarBear. |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I actually have. I met this man and he just had this air about him...asked him if he'd ever delved into the bdsm lifestyle and said he didn't know too much about it. I gave him a few links to look at, and low and behold he discovered a missing part in his life... He was a Dominant in ever sence of the term yet never knew. It was amazing to watch His eyes open and fine tune some of His skills.
|
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Personally I want to keep my BDSM life and my swing life separate. For my husband and I it is a bonding experience that I don't feel I could have with someone else. For me it is a very emotional tie that I share with my top and there is a trust that has built over many years. I had a friend who when they hear I liked to get spanked, hall out and smack my ass so hard without even asking permission. So for me just like in swinging, there are rules and boundaries. I would rather keep my little darker side out of the FUN swinging lifestyle. Although a little spanking never hurt anyone! Just ask first! Aim |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Last week I went to a Munch (a gathering of Bondage friends) and while I was there we were all talking about various things and I mentioned the swinging lifestyle... and just about everyone on my side of the table clammed up. I was really surprised to see that even as the lifestyle promotes open and candid opinions on sexual deviance, they were not interested in swinging at all. I was shocked at the closed mindedness of them.
Sharon |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
We went to our first Munch a few weekends back, and it was kinda the same thing. Swinging is just not right. Which we thought was a bit odd, considering. Don't get us wrong the people that we met there were cool that we swing, but thought it was odd. Nice group of people non-the-less.
Ted and Jenni |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Yeah, really odd for sure! This group has two transgendered people yet they can't discuss swinging at all. One even stated oh, I don't go to sex parties and I could only shake my head... otherwise I was gonna have really give'm a lecture about the lifestyle. Maybe I can think of something before next months Munch lol |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
A couple of the people at our munch were very adamant about "this is not about sex at all". We really couldn't understand that. We know it is not ALL about sex, but there has to be some sexual gratification there. The "pain" that one feels during a scene uses the same neurons as the "pleasure" feeling one gets from sex. But to each their own. We don't judge them and they don't judge us. So it is all cool.
Ted and Jenni
AKA kinky weirdo's |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I'm confused. I don't seem to fit in either lifestyle. I'm more the sub male. I also, prefer couples.
I don't think it matters much if I have a Dom or Domme or both. I also can't see leaving swing.
How do I get my spanking and eat my pussy too? |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
You learn to balance both lifestyles within your life and sometimes you will come to a place where they do intersect, but not as frequently as most like. It's easy for me to get a "quick fix" when at a swing party as I can lift my skirt and go around to all the males asking for a spanking (I hardly EVER get refused), but as for more intense BDSM play I rather save it for those who DO know what they are doing.
Just think of it like you balance your vanilla life when with family, you can juggle it!
Sharon |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
You make that sound easy. Single guys don't walk around a swing club/party and ask for a spanking.
I had been playing with this couple, I was given my own room so I could stay weekends. On their dresser where 5 or 6 very detailed statuettes, BDSM's These were more like trophy's, with small engraved plates on the front. He's the BBQ cook for summer Munch, get together's. I guess I showed too much interest. I had mail when I got home. I was to pretend I didn't know them, the next time we meet. It seems they didn't mix the two lifestyles. I find it hard to find couple that will even talk about it, much less show me the ropes. no pun intended. |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
For many the lifestyle doesn't mix, that's why keeping them separate is a better choice (in my opinion). Merging them CAN happen, and when it does it is a treat. And you are so right.... a girl can get away with it where a guy would have more obstacles to hurdle.
Sharon |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
So I have been lurking this sites forums and stumbled on to this thread. My wife and I are both interested in bdsm and swinging and found that they actually blend quite well with the right group. Our interest in joining the two was first peaked when we found a site named kink.com. Check it out and see what you think. |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
My girl and me frequently play with ropes and whips and such ;) but have never really seen it mixed with swinging. But on that note last time we were at our local club while upstairs a Dom had a man on the cross they have upstairs and was putting on a show. It was hot to watch others play. And as soon as they finished a couple left their couch to take a crack at it lol . We never saw it used before and then twice in one night :) while spanking the wife someone lent me their flogger and i even got to show some skills . I guess it just takes that one spark and the two lifestyles can blend wonderfully :) |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
Now, if you go into a BDSM event and try to do some "swinging" do you think it would be met with the same openiness as swingers do BDSM?
:coolbabe:
Sharon |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
No! Swing, is not a good topic to start, when standing in someones Dungeon. Trust me.
B Bopp |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
We've never been to a BDSM event, but probably not. But it was sure fun mixing them at at swing club :spanking: good time! |
RE: Swinging versus BDSM??
I would not expect most in the BDSM lifestyle would be too interested in swinging. A Master or Mistress 'owns' their submissive and are not usually into 'sharing' Some do though, but that's usually playing with another BDSM couple or another submissive. I have had several Masters over the years, and I was never shared. The bond between Master and submissive is incredibly strong. The only reason I would be with another person besides Him is because he wished it. I'm new to this site, and I don't think it is a good fit for me. I am looking for a Dominant couple to be with, a LTR being the goal. |
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