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Swingers
How is it that singles call themselves "swingers"? To me they, especialliy males, are just sharks. Have been to swing clubs where partner was playing with a gent who came up and asked if OK to join us and had other gent sneak in under the table and start without asking. Also gents asking partner out on the dance floor and playing with her while I am away from the table getting us drinks. I am her escort, am I not entitled to respect also?
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Answers:
RE: Swingers
Yes sir you are entitled to respect unfortunately there are guys out here that are just what you say out to worm there way in no matter what sorry for your troubles..SugarBear.. |
RE: Swingers
It sounds like you found a person whom has no idea what he is doing and lacks a LOT of social skills within the lifestyle. (Personally, I would have kicked the bastard while he was down there under the table since I had an itch down there, lol) Don't let the one bad egg ruin your thoughts on singles; after all how can a threesome occur?
You may also want to set some ground rules with your partner also if you did not want or appreciate the dancing on the floor while you were gone as she did go with him.
Sharon |
RE: Swingers
She is like a lot of ladies. Does not want to make the guy feel bad by saying no. Also usually when she plays, she maes sure I am there. Think she went to the floor expecting to dance and got played with also. As soon as she could she told him she needed to go back.
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RE: Swingers
There certainly are clueless singles out there, have been and always be, sorry about that. But, be sure not to blame a single for something that you have full control over. I too hate to hurt someones feelings but in this lifestyle one has to recognize and speak up. Dance floor or not if ANYONE touches me in a way that I do not like, everyone within hearing distance will know how very unhappy I am about it. Help her to understand that "as soon as she could" is not the way to go, instantly is how it has to be.
We have been swinging for quite a few years and I learned from the beginning that if breaking guidelines for an added partner/partners or saying "yes" to an added partner/partners means saying "no" to my spouse, it's wrong and we need to revisit our reasons for swinging or review our guidelines
Be sure to set guidelines if you haven't already and help her to be more assertive, if someones feelings get hurt keeping the two of you happy swingers, so be it!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Swingers
Thank you, and you and cute were right. We had talked after the first time we went to the club, and she was upset that the couples were not more "sharing", if that is the word, as she did not think it fair for me to be left out. I told her it was OK as long as I able to play with her also if she was playing with a gent, which she agreed to. A gentleman the week after this had asked her to dance after sitting with us a bit, she had looked at me and I had said OK. After their dance the three of us went to the play area, where I watched them play. The next week was when this occurred and she said she had thought the dancing would be OK when he asked, but when he started playing she got kind of caught up in things until she saw me at the table. Then she realized and told him she needed to get back. |
RE: Swingers
Single Male.
I'm glad you talked. Getting caught up in the moment is not a good thing. A guy can see this as an OK to go further. The ladies here have already gone there.
Mike, I started to answer this, angry! Thank you ladies for giving me time to breath.
Mike, you sound like a single guy. When you both go to a swing event, your both responsible on how you act. Both!!! To say a single guy did this or single guys did that, is something, you/we need to deal with. Those guys are not swingers, there ASS HOLES. They need to be told to leave and never to return!! This is are responsibility to each other, and the Lifestyle. No one, single or married has the right to treat us as meat!
Did you go to the host? Did you tell any one about these guys? Do we need to worry that these assholes are going to be at our next party?
Did you do ANYTHING?
Sorry, still angry. B Bopp
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RE: Swingers
You are correct B.Bopp. Took my lead from her and should not have. |
RE: Swingers
Additionally B. Bopp, I am relatively new to the lifestyle and was not sure of what the proper behavior was. She had been to this club once before, so was not much more experienced. But this is no excuse, my feelings should have ruled my behavior. After all, the 1st club rule is: No means No.
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RE: Swingers
Welcome to the lifestyle. It's not easy and everyone is different. We are even different, in different settings!
Proper behavior? 1, to each their own, or live and let live. 2, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Everyone in the lifestyle has rules. Respect, is at the top!
As a couple, you both need to know, your, ground rules. If your partner is a flirt on the dance floor , understand, some may misunderstand. Bump and grind is ALMOST expected on the dance floor. So bump and grind. ON the dance floor. You politely escort your dance partner back to her table, and ASK to join them. Respect!
Flashing titties or even going topless, gives NO ONE permission to touch!! Male, female, single or married, NO ONE! Respect.
If someone goes to far, even your partner, a little 1 on 1 chit chat should fix any misunderstanding. If not, go to the Host!
Always remember your in charge of Your personal space. Everyone there should respect that.
Don't let the little things bother you. We all can misread a given situation, A polite, no or no thanks, or even a frown, should fix any misunderstanding.
Having fun is why we are here. Have fun. B Bopp
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RE: Swingers
No means no only if it is actually spoken....if you think it and don't say it then you invite bad behavior IMO.
Kerry |
RE: Swingers
We certainly do not have to deal with those whom think swinging is free reign to say and do without an invite, those whom are disrespectful are not swingers but posers and are certainly wrong!! But, we must speak up when disrespected to stop them in their tracks otherwise we are enabling them not only with us but to behave this way with others.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Swingers
I understand where he is coming from. Some swing clubs and parties, 1, your aloud to bring a guest, even a vinilla. I never go to those! 2, All you need is an one line swingers profile. That you show at the door. This gets rid of some of the rift raft, but as we all know, not all!
My club will red flag someone so their not aloud in other parties too. If the profile is a fake,IE: A single guy on a couples profile, well there are steps to take. BUT you need to speak out loud. |
RE: Swingers
Well from our point of view...Everyone has Rules and likes and dislikes, Don't be afraid of hurting the single guy. You both have the right to choose whom you want to play with.
If they can't handle a simple not right now or thanks but no thanks then they don't belong in this lifestyle. Also no one should have the right to touch you without permission....We are swingers not sex slaves.
And if you are at a club and someone tries to join your fun without permission I would advise going to the host or club management so they can be dealt with.
This is from someone that started out as a single male so I know.
Dave |
RE: Swingers
I totally agree with goiing to the Host with problems, there have been several parties that we have hosted that were so big that Tony and I did nothing more than circulate the rooms making sure everyone was okay and having fun. But, I must also add that one should never hold back and wait for a host to take care of a problem. Take care of it yourself and then make the host aware of it, if further actions are needed then the host will enforce them.
Smooches,
Gin |
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