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Reassuring the Timid Wife Song of Songs 1 4 2 7
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Reassuring the Timid Wife Song of Songs 1 4 2 7
Reassuring the Timid Wife
(A Study in Song of Songs 1:4-2:7)
by Paul Fox of Mishkab Ministries
A wife may be timid and nervous about a new sexual experience, even if
it is one that sexually excites her. In the next section of Song of
Songs, Solomon brings the Shulamite into his bed chamber with at least
two other women to engage in group sex. The Shulamite is timid,
scared, self conscious, nervous and bashful, but Solomon and the other
women are very understanding an reassuring. Solomon gives his wife
the same sort of understanding and reassuring that Messiah gives to
the Assembly.
The Song describes these events in very poetic language as follows:
4: Draw me, we will run after you: the king has brought me into his
chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in you, we will remember your
love more than wine: the upright love your.
(Song 1:4)
This verse begins with the Shulamite speaking to Solomon on behalf of
the harem "Draw me, we will run after you". The "we" here are
additional women of Solomon's harem. We are not told how many there
are, but there are at least two additional women, since they are later
called "daughters of Jerusalem" (verse 5). His "chamber" i.e. his bed
chamber. The setting is that Solomon, the Shulamite and at least two
additional women are in Solomon's bedchamber together. The rest of
the verse "we will be glad and rejoice in you, we will remember your
love more than wine: the upright love you" makes it clear that group
sex is being described here.
The Shulamite then bashfully addresses the other women saying:
5: I am dark, but beautiful, O you daughters of Jerusalem, as the
tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
6: Look not upon me, because I am dark, because the sun has looked
upon me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the
keeper of the vineyards; but my own vineyard have I not kept.
(Song 1:5-6)
The innocent Shulamite is timid, nervous and intimidated by this
introduction to group sex. She is self conscious about the exposure
of her naked body to the other women, apologizing for the darkness of
her complexion. "Dark" rather than "black" as some translate, because
the text clearly is describing a suntan, darkness created by exposure
to the sun, and because verse 8 tells us that she was actually
"fairest among women". "my own vineyard" refers to her body.
Now the Shulamite addresses Solomon saying:
7: Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, where you feed, where you make
your flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turns
aside by the flocks of your companions?
(Song 1:7)
She is also self conscious about being "clumsy" in this group sex
situation. "where you feed" (where will you put your mouth?) "where
you will make your flock to rest" (where you will rest your genitals)
"why should I be as one that turns aside by the flocks of your
companions?" (I don't want to be left out, one that turns aside from
the genitals of the other women).
The other women reassure the timid Shulamite saying:
8: If you know not, O you fairest among women, go your way forth by
the footsteps of the flock, and feed your kids beside the shepherds'
tents.
(Song 1:8)
They reassure her that her complexion is not to dark, but that she is
actually "fairest among women", but that if she is uncomfortable, she
may go make love with Solomon privately.
Solomon ("I") now reassures the Shulamite saying:
9: I have compared you, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's
chariots.
10: Your cheeks are beautiful with rows of jewels, your neck with
chains of gold.
(Song 1:9-10)
The other women ("we") again reassures the Shulamite:
11: We will make you borders of gold with studs of silver.
(Song 1:11)
The Shulamite then says to Solomon:
12: While the king sits at his table, my spikenard sends forth the
smell thereof.
13: A bundle of myrrh is my good lover unto me; he shall lie all night
between my breasts.
14: My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of
En-gedi.
15: Behold, you are fair, my love; behold, you are fair; you have
doves' eyes.
16: Behold, you are fair, my lover, yes, pleasant: also our bed is green.
17: The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.
1: I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
(Song 1:12-2:1)
She is saying that his very presence has gotten her sexual juices
flowing ("my spikenard" referring to her sexual juices). Her
bashfulness has now been overcome by her desire and she is comforted
by the friendly surroundings of the bedchamber.
Solomon, pleased that the Shulamite has overcome her fears and gone
through with the group sex situation says to her:
2: As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
(Song 2:2)
He says "among the daughters" because she has chosen to remain in this
group situation with the other women of the harem.
The Shumaite now says to the other women:
3: As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved
among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and
his fruit was sweet to my taste.
(Song 2:3)
She is describing herself giving oral sex to Solomon. She is sitting
down in front of Solomon while he is standing as she is "tasting his
fruit".
She continues:
4: He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
(Song 2:4)
She now describes the bedchamber as a "banqueting house" in which they
are all partaking of one another orally. She indicates her sexual
submissive role to Solomon by describing his "love" (his love tool?)
as a "banner over here".
She continues:
5: Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.
Since she described Solomon as an apple tree (verse 3) and that she
was tasting his "fruit" the "apples" clearly refers to Solomon's
genitals. "Flagons" are a folded pastry and clearly refer to the
other women's genitals. "I am sick of love" meaning that she has cum
so much and so hard that she is weak.
6: His left hand is under my head, and his right hand does embrace me.
(Song 2:6)
Describing Solomon holding her head to his love tool.
The Shulamite addresses the other women:
7: I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the
hinds of the field, that you stir not up, nor awake my love, till he
please.
(Song 2:7)
Solomon, having been spent, has fallen asleep among the women. The
Shulamite tells the other women to let him sleep.
This is a wonderful story about what turned out to be a wonderful
loving experience because of the fact that timidness was met with
love, reassurance and understanding.
I have had personal experience with this. When I shared my wife Kitty
with another man for the first time, she was very nervous, timid and
bashful. Both myself, and just as importantly, the other man, offered
only reassurance and understanding. The man was vary good about this,
several times pausing and asking her "are you ok?" He knew this was
her first time ever with another man, and that she needed that level
of understanding. This made my wife very comfortable, and made the
whole experience wonderful for all of us.
We often hear men ask "how can I get my wife interested?" well the
most important thing you can do is DON'T PUSH. And if and when your
wife is comfortable with an activity that involves a third party, make
sure you choose someone who will respect her feelings and treat her
with compassion, understanding and reassurance.
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