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Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly
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Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly
I have noticed over the last couple of years that I've run into many people who take advantage of the lifestyle to its fullest, participating in everything and anything that is available. What I have also noticed is that there are many who dwell within the lifestyle yet do NOT participate they are just "friendly" and like to hang out with others who are open but do not participate.
Now, from my perspective; when I go to functions that are being advertised within a lifesyle site, I expect to be able to discuss, talk and interact accordingly. I do not want banter about politics or gossip about other people, I want to explore the lifestyle.
Anyone else run into a "lifestyle friendly" situation? How do you handle it? After visiting this place two times, I think I'm done... ready to move on and find the good stuff. I think the host should state their intentions so they do not waste the time of others who are serious and looking for fun. |
Answers:
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Can not say we have ran into that situation. We have not been to a lot of events yet(fairly new yet). The two we have attended, one was a swing club and everyone is screened as to why you are there and what you are looking for and the other was a Hotel Take Over Party for Halloween, The whole place was rented by the club and the rooms given to members. Both times were a lot of fun and were a first for us( it was a little bit of an eye opener for us as we did not know exactly what to expect,but the people we met were great and put us at ease right away and we enjoyed the events to the fullest.) |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
did you ever think that that the people their just want adult conversation and not sex ? i mean sometimes you can go to an event and talk and make friends with out jumping into bed right away. I just think you have to do your own thing and not worry about what others are doing, you can not control the whole party or event cause its not at your house or your rules |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Well sharon we have been to other peoples partys in the past where noone did anything but talk. Sometimes for those that are making good in the lifestyle, it is a welcome situation to be able to just sit back and talk. Now on the other hand we have been to some partys that even we thought was super wild. Our last 5 partys here have been awsome and met alot of great people. sometimes when it is all about play you dont really get to know the new couples that come. we dont even know some of their names that came to our house. So enjoy the time where you get to sit around and talk and get to really know people, after all this is about friends as well.
gary |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Controling or worrying on what others are doing is not on my agenda, many times I have gone to parties and observed and socialized only, making connections for me is always welcomed. I'm just trying to understand why people would state that they are hosting a "lifestyle" event and then nothing but socializing and gossip occurs.
When I go out, I go with no expectations... but I do think that if you are having a meet and greet type of thing, lifestyle topics and such are somewhat of a prerequist, no? When we go to the dentist we go for a cleaning, not for a phyiscal...
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Gary,
I've had the same expereinces... but when the same person's party continues to be just talk, is it really a lifestyle party? I've been to two different places where I can honestly say.... they are open to different lifestyles, but they are not active participants. I'm sort of partial to saying it's like false advertisement maybe.... but that isn't exactly where I'm trying to go as I hate to put labels on people. Gotta figure out how to reword my thoughts I think lmao
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
well that is a diffeant story there if you go several times and nobody does any thing then we call them fakes and would not go back ourselves. You know our first house party was advertised as a coctail/ Birthday party. Now you want to talk about false advertisement we was there maybe 10 minutes and all of a sudden every was going to differant rooms all full on sex. At this point 2 couples got up and left and we are still sitting outside asking each other what the hell did we get into. We even asked them what to expect before we went and they told us its just a little get together to get to know people. OK now full on sex after 10 minutes is more than getting to know people a little. Now that is truely false advertisement lmao lmao
gary |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Hummmmm not talking about munching are we? |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
We have come across all kinds, some like just to be with their own partner but at LS events, Some like/need to make a friendship connection and only play rarely or keep the same couple partners and others with very little talk live to have a sex with a different couple every night of the week. Just like those that play as a couple or do seperate room or even go out on separate sex dates. We love to meet people and talk about sex and other topics but I would have to say that I would expect at least some people to be having sex at a lifestyle event whether it be with their own partner or someone else. |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Wow! There are so many kinds. I belong to a group that does a weekly M&G. Just a social at a public bar. These can lead to more private house parties. There are on premise, say a bar. Down stairs is to socialize. Upstairs, private rooms, public, and playrooms. Hotel parties can be anything From R rated, to hole floor take overs with game rooms, like, a BBC room, a Dungeon, Toy rooms with things like a symbian And bedrooms that the doors are not to be closed.
I have found that most of the parties that EVERYONE hears about tend to be social Lifestyle parties with just small groups going off to play. The best parties tend to be full takeovers, and smaller house parties. Or on premise clubs. |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
The munch was last week lol I thought I seen you there, or was that my imagination? lmao
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Actually the munches do fit into this category, tho it wasn'tt my intention. Last week there was a lower amount of political discussion but it was still there! No talk about who got spanked last or put someone on a leash ;)
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
While attending these events where nothing is happening, why not put yourself out there with your partner and make it happen instead of adding to the conversation? A lifestyle event may be planned but how do you make someone have sex? What am I missing here?
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
we host partys a cpl times a yr. we don't put a title on them just a party. as 99% of all our friends are swingers (yup that happens when u move to new city and its hard to meet ppl out and about so most all our friends are swingers) seeing as most are when we have a party its known, the house is good for talk, drinks, flirting, some nude bodys or part nude, but playing always goes into bedrooms. so that ppl that just want to talk and flirt can, and ones that want more can take off to bedroom. I see gins point. u can plan a swingers party but u can't make ppl break the ice and get it going, and some ppl r not into sleeping w strangers or out in the open w strangers and perfer to have a place to go to have sex in privet. thats what we offer at our parties. but then again we never call them swinger parties we just call them partys or get togethers, but always tell everyone that house is tame place, bedrooms r for the freak on.. every one respects that and the ppl that just want to make connections w new ppl and play later not at a party can do it w no worries. |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Perfect scenario! :clapping:
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
thanks gin. we try. |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Ok, for instance.... You see a posting for a get together scheduled on June 12th and decide to go, it is at a local restaurant. Wouldn't you expect to be able to discuss and talk about the lifestyle in some sort of fashion? Maybe make connections for another day and time and not just talk about everyday things... When I created the OP I was trying to merge two separate topics into one, don't think it achieved it's purpose.
Basically stated: If you are going to a swinging activity, wouldn't expect something about swinging to occur? Or at least be discussed not shied away from if there isn't an opportunity to play? If a person putting together a get together, don't you think it should be stated somewhere "we will not be discussing lifestyle issues, just a friendly get together" ?
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
I love the way you tell your guests and they understand the way things are run....you tell them upon invite. This place doesn't, so expectations will run high when you think "Hey I'm going to a swinger event" and then you are disappointed. Now I always go in with a no expectations thing to an event, but surely would appreciate a heads up to know that NOTHING is discussed either. It is sort of like false advertising lol
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
At a slow quiet party I do start it when its dry... I got my who spanking routine down pat. It doesn't offend anyone, it gets them talking...laughing... and mixing with the others in the room!
Sharon |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
People are different and parties are different. Rules or no rules and everyone understanding the situation does not indicate that there will be or wont be sex happening. We have been to swinger parties where all of us knew and have swung with one another at one time or the other and still no sex at the party. If anyone wanted to instigate it, it was all good but we simply enjoyed the flirting and communicating with one another.
I certainly would say...get it started, get nakie and have your own fun, that's much better than wondering why nobody was involved. It must start somewhere!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Sharon and My first house party together was in a two bedroom house with 40 people stuffed into it. They no longer do it as they have sold the house and live in a place where they can't have them. Once the sex started it happened in everyroom in the house except the bathroom. This was one of my favorite parties because there were no restrictions on where you could have sex. It was great. The host served food and you brought your own drinks. I miss these parties as they were where Sharon and I tested our faith in each other as a swinging couple. And we have seen several of these people at another party and knew rite away their prefferences. |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Sharon Sweetie, I'm not sure where your mind is but I'm going to say why expect anything at any swinging event, we say this almost daily here. People go shopping to shop that doesn't mean they buy something otherwise it would be called buying. Swinging is all inclusive, it's meeting, flirting, communicating, sharing and also having sex otherwise it would be called sexing.
When planning a lifestyle event or planning to go to a lifestyle event there should never ever be any expectations of anything. People are all different and the most active swinging person/people at any event may decide to only communicate that night and that certainly is okay.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
So jelloany1 when is the next one...lmao |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Not anywhere in my post did I state swinging events; I stated "lifestyle friendly" as it isn't necessarily a swinging event as you've assumed it has been. Whenever I go out, I do not go in expecting sex (and many times I don't)...but I do expect if it is an lifestyle friendly atmosphere that if the topic is brought up then we are free to discuss it and not be restricted from trivial talk on the subject.
Putting rules up for individual parties is all good, for the sake of hosts; as long as they are presented at the time of invite so that when a person goes there, they understand what is going on and what is to be expected from them. If I know its a vanilla mixed crowd, that's great... I'm always willing to convert someone lol. But, to say we must not offend anyone by talking about certain topics or wait till the wee hours of the night when the 'nilla crowd is gone ... I would think twice as to whether I want to be restricted or perhaps go to the place later in the day (it basically would come done to what kind of friends were there, is it worth the travel time, etc).
Sharon
|
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
I have a question for you Sharon, So what do you have as a definition for a BI Friendly female?? I would think a lifestyle friendly event would have all swingers or at the least they would be thinking of the life style. Personally if we have a party with no one expecting sex at some point we personally call them "Vanilla" parties. Just curious on your thoughts I have mixed signals wiff your thoughts sometimes lmao
gary |
RE: Lifestyle versus Lifestyle friendly...
Sharon, are you saying that at these lifestyle friendly events one can't even discuss lifestyle related topics? If this is the case then as a swinger why even attend? Swinging and lifestyle both go hand in hand regardless of the play on words.
Topics of conversation should not be restricted regardless, if someone wants to talk politice then go for it, if the next person wants to talk about the 3sum they had last month, go for it.
When did the swinging lifestyle become so restricted?
Smooches,
Gin |
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