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Getting into the lifestyle?

Question:

Getting into the lifestyle?

Hi Gin, For sometime I have wanted to get into this lifestyle. What are your suggestions on how to get started and be successful? I'm married and my wife doesn't want to get involved. How do I get her to be interested in it? I would love to see her enjoying other men and I would dearly love to begin enjoying other women. Any ideas you have would really be appreciated.

Answers:

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
we dont have any suggestions for you on this. If she shows no interest in this then you cant force her. It doesnt really sound like this is for both of you sounds more like you just want to be with other women. Sorry but thats our opinion
amanda and gary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
hi , well this lifestyle for one has to be open between yall and trusting. if shes not into it, you cant make her,communication and honesty is the best things, its not easy ,this lifestyle can be complicated, but just relax and yall both be open then yall will have fun. lol lol lol lol lol

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Thanks for your reply. You are right in the fact that I want to be with other women. Would you suggest that I go it alone and try to find a married couple to start a relationship with?

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
You"re right in the fact that I want to be with other women. Would you suggest that I go it alone and try to find a married couple to start a relationship with?

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
you really need to talk it over wife and see where she stands on this. We know that some couples do play alone but if it not ok with her then it will cause some major issues for you and the other couple. Permission is the word of the day lol Good luck
amanda and gary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Trust and honesty, "to your self, your wife and as a couple". You also need to be truthful to those you wish to meet.
I think, before you go any further, you need to work out the first three.

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
you are so right bebopp me personaly was going to say nobody wants a cheater in their bed
gary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Any person who is in a relationship is obligated to speak to their partner about going outside of their relationship. (Morally speaking of course). Some couples do come up with a solution and allow their partners to play outside of their marriage, but that comes after talking and coming to an amicable compromise.

And as others mentioned, you do need to tell anyone you are planning on getting familar with as being deceitful will only gain a bad reputation and in this lifestyle word does get around fast when a "cheater" is around.

Good luck and I hope you sort things out!

Sharon

BTW, full disclosure is important as well for medical purposes as diseases sometimes spring up and past and present partners need to be notified. Can you imagine the horror if you thought you were in a committed relationship and you partner contracted crabs or something?

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
For us we don't meet single males, that being said when we see people that are cheating, well they are the scum of the earth ( that may seem harsh ) but this lifestyle is about honesty and openness.
There is no magic word or action to make your wife accept this.
We would say ask your wife what is she opposed to about it. Granted this lifestyle is not for everyone. You need to ask yourself "What is more important to you, your wife or having sex with other women."
She may never be open to or accept this and you need to be prepared for that.
Also if she does come around you need to set ground rules.
Dave and Mary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Thanks for all the replys. I have talked to her and right now she just isn't into it. She told me to do what I want, she just doesn't want to know about it. Would this be cheating? What is everyone's thoughts?

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
When I was married I always had the desire to go outside my marriage and never did because he was very insecure with himself and I knew it would cause hardships to the person I loved. I waited unitl the relationship was over before venturing in swinging. If you do jump into the lifestyle, just be weary of the long term repercussions and implications; especially if you have children.

If she says "do what you want" maybe you should tell her some of your ideas, then ask her if she is ok with it, there are so many variables in this lifestyle. Just becase she says "do what you want" doesn't mean you have a pass to go free... it could be that she's not comfortable with discussing it and just as you are wanting to have sex with other partners maybe she feels if she says no she will loose you.

You could actually get away with not telling her about some of your ongoings, but what happens if you suddenly want to try a new position you learned, or suddenly wear different clothing than you have in the past... Will she be able to wear blinders throughout your time together?

I do think you are stuck in a situation that is difficult, and most people will put up a flat for or against your final decision. But until they are in your shoes, they have no clue what your relationship is. To me, I would not play with you until I got an OK from your wife stating she was alright with me playing with you. At swingparties you do have couples that one is just there to socialize as the other one plays, maybe that could be an option for you.

Again Good luck!

Sharon

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
I was going to say the same thing Sharon about her giving the permission in person not phone or email. We went out with a few couples last nite and talked about this as well a little. They all said the same thing. They said anyone could be on the other end of the phone.
Gary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
In our eyes it is But thats up to you She told me to do what I want, she just doesn't want to know about it. A year or 2 this may come back to bite you on the ass You have no proof she said it,and it may just a test to see what you will do ( divorce court ) It is something Daves x-wife would say and do.but if you gonna do it any way be safe and I mean every time you have sex any kind of sex with a other woman who is not your wife wear a condoms and they make female condoms also, if you get a blow job condom, if you you eat pussy condom ,if you f**k them condom, what ever hole you put it in condom. Myself I would not do it

Mary and Dave

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Go back to your wife and talk about it. Much better, take a step back and wait, before going any further.
1, this may look and or, sound good now. But the lifestyle, IS NOT, for everyone. You may not like it or ever be comfortable with it.
2, From your last input, your wife, IS NOT, comfortable with this idea.
This is your marriage your talking about. Your wife already knows!! There is no keeping this from her. Every time your late, every time you work late, every guys night out, every time your not home when she thinks you should be, could have her thinking about this last conversation.
You will not get MY permission, to cheat on your wife, nor lie to her. This includes by omission.

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
very well said bebopp sounds like the investigator in his wife is coming out

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
Another reason I wanted to get into this lifestyle is because she has lost all sexual desires. I didn't want to post this thinking everyone would think it was my fault. Even though I want to be involved in this, I thought it maybe would help her.

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
With that idea of lost interest in sex, there could be a multitude of other issues including medical and or prior history of sexual issues.

Best bet is still to talk and sort it out prior to jumping in.

Sharon

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
that one is for you two too talk about in private. I said it before this does not sound like this is for you. I would step back and work on yalls personal issues first. You putting this out in the open for the ones that knows her she will more likely be embarrased and shut down even more.
gary

RE: Getting into the lifestyle?
I agree, you both have to go into this together...

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