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Do you play solo??

Question:

Do you play solo??

I notice that 99.9% of couples are looking for 3somes, or swaps. I know that a lot of couples play solo, but don't write it on their profile, why not?

Answers:

RE: Do you play solo??
I've read some profiles that state, willing to play solo. We don't.. xoxo Shirley

RE: Do you play solo??
I think I have only found one. However have had a few messages saying that a couple plays solo. I just find most don't put it in their profile, and wondering why...

RE: Do you play solo??
We do play solo, but it is after both of us talk about whom, what, where, when and how. We always meet together for the first time so that as a couple we are confident enough with whom we are entrusting our partner with. However, there are certain exceptions... if its an established relationship and its a spur of the moment thing(of course it depends on WHO it is) or if Todd finds a hottie on the road I'd say go for it (I trust his judgement 100%).

As for the profile stating it, I think ours does... but if not, after talking with us you'd get the idea. I am not sure if most couples are willing to say they are because there a lot more single people begging to come for the Mrs. It's the nature of the beast!

Sharon

RE: Do you play solo??
You got that right, Sharon!! xoxo Shirley

RE: Do you play solo??
Babs, there are a lot of single guys as well as husbands on here. They don't think or care about the Couple, or husband. There are a lot of couples on here that play solo, you just need to get to know them Both, first. That is why, it is not in their profile.

B Bopp

RE: Do you play solo??
We have found very few couples that we know play separately (only two). I have noticed that Bi women do play alone. For us playing alone is not why we chose to be in the lifestyle.

RE: Do you play solo??
We specifically got into the lifestyle to add to our joint experiences. I want to share Mr.DE with other partners rather than loan him out, and I want him there for my experiences. I used to think that I wanted my first FF to be alone, but our MMF/MFM threesomes have changed my mind and now I want him there (whether as a witness or actively involved will be up to everyone involved).

That said, we might review separate play opportunities on a case-by-case basis and even have considered such already, though neither of us have actually done anything solo yet. However, such cases require knowing the other party/ies very well... well enough for the trust level that we require. Since separate play is not our goal and requires such familiarity, there is no point in advertising even the idea to strangers.

We have seen profiles of couples that mention one or both doing solo play. These seem to particularly be with couples who have been active in the lifestyle for a long time and have to separate frequently... the husband, wife, or both often must travel alone for work. As has already been mentioned, there are also instances in which a bisexual wife might play alone with MF couples or other women. There do not seem to be quite as many instances of the husband being the only one to play alone, though there are some (again, particularly with traveling for business).

Also, regarding threesomes: though overwhelmingly couples seek FFM/FMF threesomes (and thus seek the elusive "unicorn"), there are plenty (like us) who take advantage of the abundant selection of SMs within the lifestyle for MMF/MFM threesomes. That requires no separate play within a couple. :-)

RE: Do you play solo??
I wonder if our perspective in swinging solo is different as we already were swingers prior to getting together, ummmmmm. Gives me something to think about!

Sharon

RE: Do you play solo??
I know for myself I have come a LONG LONG WAYS. 2 years ago I would have NEVER agreed for my husband to go solo. Honestly the thought at the time made me feel sick to my stomach. But as time has gone on things change. There are still moments that bother me, but only if the rules are bent or broken...Our rules are simple, and clear. I find that men are more willing to follow rules, where as the woman think they can do anything....because they are woman..;)

RE: Do you play solo??
I think you may have a point. I wander if there is a different kind, form, level of trust?

B Bopp

RE: Do you play solo??
I agree cute we prefer to play seperatly with other couples and we do put it in our profile.It depends on the couple there must be confidence that your spouse will be ok for whatever long they are with the other person.

RE: Do you play solo??
we play solo too...but im the one who picks out his playmate...its like role playing to us. i hoe him out, im his pimptress. he loves it. we live in two different states cuz he is going to college for film making for another three years. I like pimping him to couples not single females..hell no..lol. we find this action not only fun but it lets me know that he is taken care of. me im his woman only. i love been just his.

RE: Do you play solo??
We never play alone... and why would we play alone this is to enhance our sex lives not to replace it. We dont need to swing we like to swing. In some cases we see people playing alone in our Opinion they are replacing what they have or they would be with their spouses to watch and enjoy them being pleasured, But, that is just our opinion so "open relationships" seem to us to be replacement not enhancement of their sex lives. We are not judging but answering the post that most swing alone. WE DON'T

RE: Do you play solo??
we dont play separtly and dont expect anyone else to. we trust each other but we feel safty comes first.

RE: Do you play solo??
Just up dated urs ..we do now...hehe

RE: Do you play solo??
babs, I am the same way... Still feel a little sick to my stomach but it's getting better. How long did it take you to get over that feeling? And yes, men do follow the rules much better than women! For us it is definitely about knowing the other people involved. We only recently started playing separate, so I'm just curious

RE: Do you play solo??
Honestly for me it depends on the woman. And I don't mean that in a "pretty VS not"..some woman go that extra mile to make sure I am ok, where as others pretend I don't exist and "go for it" without asking. When I'm not there, obviously it doesn't matter, as long as my husband follows the "no affection" rule...we don't hold hands and snuggle...( nothing "relationshippy" of course kissing is fine, and expected. It's all a comfort thing!

RE: Do you play solo??
For a while we only played as a couple, specifically because we got into this in the first place to enjoy the experience together, love seeing each other with someone else and being there to share in everything.

However we have a little boy and its hard to get a sitter at times. The only person we've ever had or trusted to watch him is hubbys mom so basically if shes able to come over and stay with him then we will go out together and do something occasionally. We decided recently that since we trust each other 100%, have no jealousy at all and want each other to experience things and have a good time, we now play seperately as well. That way, even if we cant get a sitter, we still have the option of getting out and having some adult fun.

Our main priority still is and always will be going out together and meeting couples but on occasion if its not possible to get out at once, we are ok with one of us staying home with our son while the other meets a couple or single. It has to be someone we have met together, both feel comfortable with and agree on. And whoever goes out gets pics and videos to bring home to the other so we are still able to share in that experience and have something fun and erotic to look at n talk about during our sexy playtimes alone.

RE: Do you play solo??
Yes

RE: Do you play solo??
Our arrangement is that we can both play solo. The trust is there.

RE: Do you play solo??
I play solo, not him. Simply because he's always working. It was his idea. He don't want me to be mad at him because I'm bored at home. So I'll invite trusted couples.

RE: Do you play solo??
Couples that are secure w/self and their relationship(ea.other)get 2 enjoy this lifestyle bcause of knowing how 2 love unconditionally!! What most single men r clueles of. The giving of their mate 2 another, is 4 know one other then themselves!!!!! Men it has nothing 2 do w/the STUD of a man that u think u r, and it makes u a "Legend in ur own mind"!!!!!! The mature mind set and the selfless love, is the driving force in wanting 2 see ur mate gasping 4 air while having multipal orgasums, that cause their eyes 2 roll back in their head, and the loss of consciousness. Swinging, multipal lovers will, w/out a doubt, allows this 2 happen. I can't speak 4 all of u, but the more matted and sticky my lover bcums, is 1 of the ways that lets me know that I'm "doing right by my lover" Couples that play solo have everything I just stated x's 10!!! These r the 1's that are experiencing the lifestyle of this "swing thing" 2 the fullest!!!! I only hope that all couples can have a love so stong, and the goodness that cums from it. AS far as the "nature of the beast" goes? Men b thankful that u were the 1 getting 2 b used by, and 4 that couple. if we all can learn 2 put the needs of others b4 our own, "THE MORE U WILL B NEEDED"!!!!!!!!!! I know how 2 think this way bcause i'm not ur "average Joe(man)". I haven't been a single man my whole life, some times things change whether we like it or not!!!!!! It's how and what u do w/the change that matters!!!!

"OSD"
Jersey Joe
Flagstaff member, not pretender ;

RE: Do you play solo??
I do know recently I did go out to play and caused an issue because I was not clear with Todd on my intentions as I was truly on the fence on whether or not I was going to go. We had discussed it, and we are both ok with it...trusted the other people...etc. Needless to say I ended up going and he did not realize it till afterwards as I didn't say it in concrete terms.
I truly have to get better with my communication skills as well as my indecisiveness.

:coolbabe:
Sharon

RE: Do you play solo??
Somebody mentioned "unicorn" what does that mean?

RE: Do you play solo??
Definition from the Urban Dictionary. "In swinger lingo, a single female (often bi) sought after by many couples. They are thought to be so rare that they have attained the status of mythical creatures."
Well, I don't know about the rarity part. Maybe not as many as single men, but their out there. lol

Welcome to ST by the way! We hope you find all your looking for here. It's a Great community of people.

Dale & Margaret :hello:

RE: Do you play solo??
GOOD DAY to all real swingers,(no tire kickers) So far from what we have read on this post... this post is no more than a sounding board with each other on why their spouses want to swing alone.... there seems to be a lot of justification and also we tend to hear a lot of hurt..Maybe the wrong people are hooked together....Really if you look up the definition of swinging this is not it. That is why we do not play with singles male or female... couples that do not have a commitment to each other ..Transvestites or other such beings. The excitement for us is to fuck another man or woman's spouse with their permission( if there is an attraction or connection). THAT IS SWINGING TO US but very selective. In our ways of the world we have found a lot of couples spouses either the man is a dud or the woman is a dud. NO SEXUALITY.. We want to get as good as we are giving, we have only found two couples that both were really into the sex and were sexual. Actually you can tell if you have any sexual beings about you if the woman is warm or everything is an act. Usually it is not when fucking at that point it is too late. We always remember these two encounters and enjoy the memories. One example: what in heavens name would a woman going to a Adult club wear jeans. OMG... if your on your period don't go. But that is like farmers sexuality with a tractor plowing the fields. I guess must be an Alberta thing.. NO SEXUALITY...

RE: Do you play solo??
we will only play solo with the right cpl or the right female

RE: Do you play solo??
2 SHEA!!!! u can definately sence a persons sexuality!! I also agree w/u about some cpls r not right 4 one another. I was married 4 15yrs 2 a golddigger. After suffering from the unexpected(being visciously raped)divorce she put me through, I thought it was all bcause of this life style. Cum 2 find out it was all about the loss of my prestige w/Grateful Dead Pro.(Jerry died a month earlier)and my Big Money job(I.B.E.W.), I had retired my Ticket 2 go 2 work 4 the Dead 6yrs earlier. I mean the absolute minute these 2 things were gone, so was she!!!!!! HEY 2 ALL U CPLS!!!! wake the F#$K up!!!!! Men and women both, don't u realize how GREAT u have it!!! Some 1 2 love u, 2 hold u, 2 laugh and 2 cry w/u!!!!!! Most of all, some 1 accepting and willing 2 get horizontal w/other sexual beings!!!!! Yhe only 1 thing that could make it any better, is if they ride!!!! b thankful and love one another, life sucks alone ;(

Be well
"OSD"
Jersey Joe
Flagstaff-ST
Member not Pretender

RE: Do you play solo??
We got into swinging by allowing solo experiences. We didn't even know we were swingers (or at least interested in swinging) but I shared with him that it was a fantasy of mine for him to have sex with another woman and tell me all about it or for me to watch. So he was solo, and he did have sex with someone and it made our sex life so hott and spiced it up like we were first dating again. Since then we decided that we'd like to swap with another couple (and of course we're looking for that unicorn too, but we have a girl that he regularly bangs on the side- he did this morning actually). Now we just need to find that couple and try it out!

RE: Do you play solo??
In our experience, playing solo is still an enhancement of mine and my husbands sex life. After solo play we will share details; with demonstrations; of the solo play. Neither of us will go out solo with anyone the other is not comfortable with. Whether it be we have all met or just chatted. I am home all day while he works, and therefore I am generally the one answering messages and doing the majority of chatting, unless of course the message is directed at just him, so usually after he's home kids are in bed and we've eaten, we will sit down to read messages together, or I will show him what has been sent.
Also when a solo meet is on the horizon, we will fantasize about what may happen or how we'd like it to happen, which usually ends with us in bed, on the floor, the couch, the shower, etc. And after a solo meet generally the one coming home is on such a sexual high still that sleep is an elusive thing for both of us.
That all being said it is a personal thing, that should be fully discussed between the couple, all rules set in stone, and an exit strategy in place for safety.
I generally play solo with men, and enjoy my women with my husband present, involved or not. So far my husband has only played solo once; his choice mostly, and he also choses to play solo with women, and play with men with me present. To us its just hotter that way

RE: Do you play solo??
"In our ways of the world we have found a lot of couples spouses either the man is a dud or the woman is a dud. NO SEXUALITY.. We want to get as good as we are giving, we have only found two couples that both were really into the sex and were sexual. Actually you can tell if you have any sexual beings about you if the woman is warm or everything is an act."

If you're not finding sexual people, it may have something to do with your approach... Either that, or you may be looking for a flavour of sexuality that is very specific.

All people are sexual beings... Just with different flavours... Yum! ;). We find that all people become sexual and more open with their sexuality when they have trust in their sexual partners. People must feel comfortable with their partners in order to feel open enough to express their particular flavour of sexuality. If they don't feel comfortable, they may still have sex, (cuz it's fun :D ), but they will not open themselves up to truly be themselves and express their sexuality. This is why for us, we're not into the wham bam thank you ma'am one night stands and want to establish something beyond that with our partners. We see them as people, not as "fuck partners" or simply enhancements to our sex life. This creates a space where everyone feels comfortable to truly be themselves... And sexual. ;)

There's lots of sexual people in Alberta... It's too damn cold here most of the time for there not to be... :D

As far as playing solo goes... Well... For us we'll just say that we always strive to allow each other the space to discover who we really are... Because that's what truly enhances our own relationship. ;) It's not something we are accepting applications or are looking for, but with the right people who knows what may happen?

RE: Do you play solo??
I agree with you story, Number 1 Rule, never play alone. We get my enjoyment watching hotpants getting slammed and me going in and hotpants watching me watching her. I cannot feel love I can see it. However there are those singles that keep pestering hotpants to go alone. No matter what people tell me, there are rules for married people to follow, these rules allow a healthily marriage and sexual pleasure. I asked several singles if their partner knows what they are doing, all were devoiced. Humm Should have followed the rules. We also had males that are trying to keep this life style from their partner. Be honest with swingers, we want to play, have fun, we don't what to destroy a health marriage because someone has a secret fantasy that has become reality.

RE: Do you play solo??
I have to play solo because my partner died. I have no interest in taking another woman's husband/love away from them, I just want to share, so I don't have to be abstinent until some distant future day when I am ready to meet someone else to love.

RE: Do you play solo??
happyman... did you happen to read the rest of the conversation?

RE: Do you play solo??
rarely do we play solo, and if we do, it's with someone we are already familiar with

RE: Do you play solo??
We have always played together. If Kat let me know ahead of time and told me about it when she got home, I would not have a problem with her playing solo. If you read about such solo meetings, you find that they don't end well if you don't have clear rules.

RE: Do you play solo??
I (wife) do play solo, but only with other females. I'm not comfortable meeting a couple without my husband and he's overseas 11 months out of the year.

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